Sunday, December 5, 2010

Can't help myself...

I have some thoughts I just have to get out there...

Recently, a friend posted a youtube video of Pastor Mark Driscoll and his feelings about the book The Shack, a fictional story about a man and his struggles to deal with a horrible event in his life.

I don't know if any of you have read the book or not, but my parents gave it to me one time when I visited them and I read most of it in one night. It was truly a good read. I loved the descriptions, the meaning behind them, and the story line. It was difficult to read at times, because there were some very hard scenes. I cried my eyes out several times. But it was beautifully written.

What bugged me about the video, and Mr. Driscoll's feelings about the book was this: He condemned it based on the authors descriptions of "God" and some of the statements about the Trinity. I almost wonder if he forgot that this book was a work of fiction, rather than a theological textbook. He even goes on to claim it is a work of heresy. Ok then Mr. Driscoll, let's get the pitchforks and torches and burning pole out of the storage unit. While you are at it, we should probably drag CS Lewis and Tolkien along too, and anyone else who has used fiction and descriptions to try and convey Christ and His Nature. (Please note the sarcasm.)

Honestly, I get so annoyed with people. SERIOUSLY. I get upset when rather than being a Church, a bride to Him, they want to sit fireside and argue and divide. It makes me so angry. I know I shouldn't get angry about it, but it frustrates me that people would rather fight, than love. It makes me angry that instead of showing people God's Love, they wish to throw daggers of judgement. Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't God say judge not lest you be judged? Didn't Paul chastise those who argued and divided from each other over petty arguments and opinions? Didn't Jesus seriously piss off those (The Pharisees and Sadducees) who personally judged others and held lofty opinions on HIS WORDS, the Scriptures?

I'll sit here and admit, this is one of the reasons I haven't been to "church" in some time now. Not that all churches are like this, because there are many, many churches that aren't. It is because I have a very difficult time sitting there and not saying something when judgement starts from someone. I'm pretty sure that some of my churchy friends think I have left my faith, but just the opposite is true. I've embraced it all the more. I do not believe that my lack of attendance reflects a loss of faith in God. Perhaps a loss of faith in people, but not in God. The Church is His people who love and serve Him, not a building with a cross on it.

We all judge, and we all have opinions, it is simply human nature. Perhaps though, we should learn to keep our judgments to ourselves, and refer them to The Judge, instead of spewing them at others, and possibly reflecting not God's will, but our own feelings?

I have friends who have been so badly hurt and disenchanted with Jesus/God/Christianity by other Christians who felt the need to judge, that I don't know if I will ever be able to show enough of God's Love and His forgiving character to show them that God is not like those who tried and failed to represent Him. It breaks my heart, and makes me angry. And you know, I need to work on my judgement of those who judged too. None of us are perfect, least of all me. I just hurt for those who have lost faith or refuse to have faith because of the poison that has been spewed on them by those who felt they were entitled to judge.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Wow. 4 Months!

Hello Blogland!

I can hardly believe it has been 4 months! So much has happened. So much I want to fill everyone in on. I can't do it all tonight, but I am going to try to start up writing again, as I miss the outlet.

I'll give you the quick and dirty catch up, and go into more detail later as the mood hits me.

Hubby came home from Korea, after over a year of us not seeing him. It was so incredibly wonderful. I, being the emotional woman I am, rushed into his arms and just cried with gratefulness to have him back again. The feeling of his arms wrapped around me was divine! His smell, the sound of his voice not distorted by the phone, it was just incredible. There just aren't words that describe the feeling accurately, when your soldier comes home! My cheeks hurt from all the smiling. :)

We were blessed to have a family that his mother knows allow us to use their lake house for a few days of honeymooning and then with just our little family. I have a video of the kids being surprised by him. It makes me tear up just to think about it. I'll have to try and post it here later on. They didn't know he was going to be there, and their "great big present" I kept promising them surprised and thrilled them!

After our week at the lake house, we went around and visited family. I had already moved from Tennessee and was just bumming visiting with family until the big move to Germany. We had all of our things sent ahead so that we wouldn't have to wait two months for our household goods. So we relaxed and hung out and "bottled up" our time with friends and family.

Finally, the time came to leave. It was emotional. There were lots of tears. It was sad to leave all of our loved ones, but exciting to embark on a new adventure. The kids had never flown before, so this was a really big deal. They were scared at first, and still heartbroken over leaving family, but after a while they settled right in and enjoyed their little TV screens and "cool" airplane food. Mommy enjoyed a glass of wine. ;) It was crazy during our layover in DC, and I just wanted to relax. The kids and Daddy slept well on the trip...I didn't, but that is ok. I survived. :)

Then it was time to land. We left VA in 70+ weather. We arrived to 50-60 degree weather, and raining. I'm SO glad I packed the kid's jackets. Leaving the plane I got one of the nicest compliments in the world. An elderly lady stopped me as I was getting off the plane with the kids and told me she had never seen such well-behaved kids, and that she was so impressed. It totally made my day! Sure, they can be awful at times, but those moments when they DO listen, and do it publicly, I feel less like a failure and more like a victor.

So we left the warmth of the plane and stepped into cold, rainy Frankfort. Now there, you don't always walk along a walkway into the airport straight from the plane. Instead, we all PILED into a bus. Like sardines. I WISH I were joking. What made it more interesting is that the bus had an accordion middle, so that it could bend. Again, I'm not joking. Lucky me and my hubby were standing/sitting on top of luggage in the accordion part, so every time we turned we were either falling apart, or squishing together. Odd, I tell you. Then we showed our passports and went to get our luggage.

At the luggage area, we met some soldiers posted there to help incoming military members with navigating customs, etc. I was expecting a long customs line with suitcase digging and fidgety kids.


We followed the soldiers through a few green doors and entered the main area. I asked where customs were and one of the soldiers pointed at the green doors and said, "That was it ma'am." Apparently military doesn't have to deal with that kind of thing. AWESOME. We were then escorted to a private, guarded waiting area just for US military and their families. The kids could run around and it was so nice to not have to stress too much. I walked forever to find a place for food, since it was well past lunchtime, and found a McDonalds in the bowels of the airport. Their food is better... sorry America! More expensive, but way yummier!

Afterwards we lined up and got on our respective buses, and after a while of watching crazy autobahn traffic (I was pretty sure we were going to wreck a couple of times there), we all drifted off to sleep for the rest of the 2+ hour bus ride. When I woke up, I thought I was dreaming. Climbing up the side of a mountain, our bus was drifting through a fog wisping in and out of dark forests and beautiful pines scattered up the mountainside. I was breathless with wonder. It really was gorgeous.

When we got to our new destination, it was a bit crazy. We couldn't stay at the military hotel, they were full. So we ended up staying at a local German hotel. Oh, how different they are!! Not bad... just different. We all collapsed into bed and went to sleep. The time change was crazy, but luckily, we were all exhausted from the trip, so sleeping by the time it was nightfall was no problem. :)

More to come...

Monday, August 2, 2010


He is coming home TODAY!!!!!

I can't get over how excited I am right now.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A baby story... Jewel

I thought I'd share my children's birth stories, as I haven't done that yet. I'll start at the beginning, with my oldest daughter, Jewel.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic! I had been experiencing baby fever for a while at that point, after seeing the newborn baby of one of our friends. I had never thought babies were cute up until this point, but holding that cute little pink bundle, and watching my new husband hold her, melted my heart, and we both got baby fever pretty badly. So when that test showed positive results, I was so happy I cried!

I cleaned the house, put on a cute nightgown, and anxiously awaited my husbands return from his second shift job. He didn't get off until 10pm, so I lit candles and paced the floor. Waiting. Waiting some more. Checking the clock. Waiting. Finally 10:15 rolled around and I parked in front of the window, watching feverishly with butterflies rolling around inside, willing his car to drive up the driveway.

And waited some more.

11 o'clock came and went, and I started to get really, really worried. He wasn't answering his phone, and he had never been this late before without calling. My overactive imagination started to envision all kinds of calamities that could be keeping him. Eventually, and tearfully, I realized he must be dead in a ditch somewhere between here and his workplace. Shivering, I threw a coat over my nightgown and drove slowly toward his work, keeping an eye out for his car wrapped around a tree, or him lying in a ditch.

I arrived at his work, and there his car sat in the parking lot, with the only other car being his boss's. I felt a little better, but was still beside myself. Marching up to the door, I threw it open, not caring that I was in my nightgown covered only by my coat. There was a long corridor leading up to his office and I practically flew down it, tearing up as I saw him behind the glass. My emotions went crazy, and I burst into tears seeing him there! Upset, I drilled him on why he was so late, and befuddled, he explained that his boss was making him write incident reports over and over because the man had shown up drunk to work and didn't like the handwriting! I explained that I had worried he had gotten in a wreck and was dead on the side of the road, and then said, "...and I was so scared I'd have to raise this baby without its father!!" He started to try and soothe me, when the reality of my last words hit him.

Eyes widening, he stopped mid-sentence. His eyes filled with tears and he said, "You mean..." and nodding with fresh tears I watched his face go from shock to complete joy!! Needless to say, the rest of our night was GREAT!!! His boss, upon hearing what had just happened, let him go finally and we went home, thrilled at what was about to happen in our life.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hello, my name is Tasha, and I am a people person...

I was reading a story this afternoon, about a man with dwarfism, and his efforts and success in learning to fly. He always had a passion for flying, and wanted to pilot planes, but many thought he would never be able because of his "disability". He proved them wrong, and went on to begin a non-profit organization that gives plane rides to kids with disabilities... as a way to give back.

It got me thinking about something I believe to be true about people. That no-one is worthless. That each and every one of us has something big inside of us. I like trying to find the hidden nugget of gold inside every person I meet.

The potential for greatness lies within each person born, no matter what status they are born into, where they are born, or with what disabilities they are born with. The world is full of unrealized potential, unknown heroes, and untold stories. Sometimes it just takes believing in someone - even ourselves - to unlock these amazing stories and bring them to life!

I believe that no one is an accident. I believe that each and every life conceived is precious! No matter how hard life may get, it isn't pointless... not at all!!

Which actually makes me remember a short film I once watched. It brought me to tears!! It was incredibly beautiful, and the story behind the main character's actor is even more beautiful, because it is very real!!

So I hope you'll give yourself a little break, watch this short film, and be moved.

And for those who are wondering who the main character is, and to hear his story... here is a link to his website.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

It all makes sense now!


After that long and emotionally charged list I made yesterday, I decided that I was tired of putting pressure on myself for the day...and quit.

I did nuttin'.

I sat on my derriere, watched 24 and relished the lack of stress as I shoved everything aside for an afternoon of sanity. Of course, I eventually had to get the kids from school. And when I get my kids from the bus stop and they are whining before they are even all the way in the car, I start to get a funny eye twitch. Well, not really, but if I had a twitchy eye it would twitch like mad. I had to cut my son off mid-whine with a not so subtle remark that if the whining continued Mommy might just go crazy.

After attempting to get a hold of myself, I called my Mom and proceeded to verbally vomit all of my stressful thoughts. She is a wonderfully patient woman! And halfway through the conversation a thought hit me. Still talking I ran over to the calendar. Hmmmm. I walked to the mirror. YUP, I see a zit or two forming.


It snuck up on me again! Everything makes sense now! I'm not flipping out because my life is going crazy... I'm just flipping out because of HORMONES. For some odd reason, it calms me knowing this little fact. I now know that the sky is not falling, it is just my hormones making everything seem worse than it is.

It's funny how that knowledge helps so much...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A peek inside my brain.

Ever wonder what runs through an Army wife's brain? Here is a taste of my thoughts...

  • Ugh, this house is a wreck and I REALLY need to get going on my cleaning/decluttering!
  • Should I call the landlord and let him know I'm moving out in June when I'm still awaiting orders so that I can call the movers to move me in June??
  • I wonder if I can keep my deposit?
  • AGH! June is in 2 WEEKS!!!
  • I need to get this paperwork DONE.
  • What should I take in unaccompanied baggage?
  • I should really find out what shots the kids will be required to have.
  • I hate selling out my principles.
  • But then again, I'm not selling out on principles, since they will be in a place that probably NEEDS vaccination.
  • The dog. I really need to get him chipped, clipped (sorry, no balls allowed in Germany!), and vaccinated again in a certain time period. And who the hell is going to write up his certificate in English AND German?
  • I really wish I lived near an Army Post... things would be much easier.
  • DAMMIT, I still have to get the Passports, both civilian and military.
  • I wish I had $50, 000 lying around. Then I could just junk most of our HHG and buy more there. That would make life easier!
  • CRAP, I really need to turn in my insurance paperwork... for an accident 10 MONTHS ago!!!
  • That reminds me, I need to call the dentist and see when my appointment is for putting on my crown.
  • I need to whiten my teeth before he gets home.
  • Happy sigh! Home in less than 80 days!!
  • I need to do sit ups.
  • And rub anti-cellulite cream all over my backside...
  • What does s.e.x feel like again?
  • I need to start the laundry, daydreaming be damned.
  • My shorts don't fit anymore. I should get new ones.
  • I want to hide in a hole and not come out until the movers are gone!!
  • Oh yeah, I hate the Army... why is it taking MONTHS to get these *insert many expletives* ORDERS!!!!
  • Ha, I wonder how many of my readers still think I am sane now!
  • No matter, I can pretend like the best of 'em! "Who me? Crazy? Nahhhh"
  • Is it too early in the day to have a glass of wine?
  • Eh, Probably.
  • And picking your daughter up from Pre-K while sloshed is probably going to complicate your life more too, Tasha. You wino, you.
  • So no wine.
  • Plus, I'll just get sleepy and I have work to do!
  • I bet I could continue this list all day.
  • Think Positive, Tasha, think positive.
  • I miss my hubby, I can hardly believe I've gone 9 1/2 months without seeing or touching him!
  • I really need to get to work!
  • ....
  • But maybe I'll just hide and watch another episode of 24. His life sucks way more than mine...